Solo agers (or “elder orphans”) are anyone who is on their own as they get older. This can include individuals who never married, widows and widowers, those who were married but divorced, and those who have no children or who are estranged from their children and grandchildren.
Solo agers are less likely to have built in support systems to step in if they need assistance and their estate planning is more difficult if they do not have “natural” people to designate as their agents on their durable powers of attorney, health care directives or trusts. Even those with strong social networks may lose them as they survive their friends and family members or those friends and family members need assistance as well.
Appointment of Fiduciaries
So, what can solo agers do to plan for the future when they may need assistance? Eric J. Einhart, a lawyer with the Russo Law Group PC in Garden City, New York, has written in article in the NAELA Journal (which, unfortunately, is behind a paywall) emphasizes that “[p]roper planning can help reduce fear and anxiety about the future, mitigate challenges, and in many cases avoid disaster.” He recommends that solo agers look beyond the normal choice of spouses and children to act for them in the event of incapacity.
“In some cases, solo agers have a relative, such as a cousin, niece or nephew, or stepchild, who is trustworthy and able to help. In other cases, solo agers may have nonrelatives, such as trustworthy friends and confidants, who can fill various fiduciary roles. This group of people is sometimes referred to as the solo ager’s family of choice.”
Where no extended family members or friends are available to step in to serve as agents under durable powers of attorney or as trustee, Einhart recommends that solo agers consider professionals to serve in these roles, “such as trust officers at a bank, certified public accountants, attorneys, or certified care managers.”
While estate planning attorneys are often willing to serve as agents under durable powers of attorney and attorneys, banks and trust companies can act as trustees, finding non-family members or close friends willing to be agents on health care directives is much more difficult. Often professionals are uncomfortable making such intimate decisions. In addition, fulfilling the role can be very time consuming and it can become quite expensive if the agent is being paid by the hour at a high rate.
While care managers also may not feel comfortable acting as health care agents, they can make sure their clients receive appropriate and high quality care. Their involvement can go a long way towards preventing abuse and neglect.
The Benefits of Professional Trusteees
One of the most effective steps a solo ager can take to assure their financial security and protection from scams and other financial abuse is to create a revocable trust and appoint a professional co-trustee, whether an attorney, bank or trust company. The involvement of such a professional assures that their funds will be well managed and will permit the co-trustee to step in in the event of incapacity. Their involvement will also either deter scammers who prey on the elderly or permit them to stop any scam before it gets in too deep.
Some clients are reluctant to name co-trustees due to the cost or because they want to maintain their privacy. They may be more inclined to name successor trustees instead. The problem with this is that the successor trustee may not be aware of what’s going on and when it’s necessary to intervene. And there can be a delay as they take whatever steps are necessary to affirm their new role and take control of various accounts. Further, they are likely to know less about the beneficiary and their needs, goals and wishes than they would if they had been acting as co-trustee over several years.
These are all reasons we believe that the incremental cost and loss of privacy entailed in naming a co-trustee are well worth it.
Avoid Isolation
Without involved family and with the loss of friends that can occur with age, solo agers risk becoming isolated. In addition to the loneliness that this can bring, it can result in the deterioration of both physical and mental health and vulnerability to financial scams and other forms of elder abuse.
Probably the most effective step solo agers (and those at risk of becoming solo agers, which means just about everyone) can take to avoid isolation is to take a look at their living situation. Do you live in a community where you have a lot of interaction with others or one where you never talk with your neighbors? If you do not have frequent interactions with others naturally, you may want to consider moving while you’re able to do so, whether to a 55+ community, assisted living, senior housing, or simply an apartment rather than a single-family home.
Getting involved in social activities is also very important, whether taking part in senior center activities, taking classes, volunteering, or being part of a community group or religious organization. Any activity that involves interacting with others on a regular basis means that they will ask questions if all the sudden you don’t show up at an event or meeting without an explanation. This may require going beyond one’s “comfort zone,” but it’s almost always well worth the effort. And if one organization or activity doesn’t work out or feel right, try another.
Solo Ager Resources
With longer lifespans and smaller families, more seniors are aging on their own. As a result, a number of social service agencies are stepping in to assist them. Dorot, a social service agency in New York City, offers a six-week course for solo agers called Aging Alone Together, which is available both in person and online. Each session last 90 minutes.
Ailene Gerhardt, a patient advocate in Boston, has created the Navigating Solo Network which hosts a website on resources available to solo agers. On May 14th, they will be hosting a Solo Aging Visibility day (SAVvy Day) to promote resources available to solo agers nationwide.
Other resources include:
- The National Council on Aging’s Resources and Support for Older Adults Living Alone: A Comprehensive Guide.
- Facebook has a few solo ager groups, including: Elder Orphans (Aging Alone) and Elder Orphans.
- The Solo Ager website offers courses and resources for solo agers.
(Full disclosure: My source for these resources and some of the information above was an article in KFF Health News on “Resources Are Expanding for Older Adults on Their Own.”)